Happiness Unraveled Part 4

Chapter Nine: Unraveling
To say that Rainbow Dash was in a foul mood for the rest of the week would be the deepest sort of understatement. She consciously went out of her way to avoid Applejack, her insides still seething from the knowledge that she was engaged to Caramel. Pinkie Pie tried her hoof at making Dash smile but not even the infectious charm of Pinkie could work its magic. In truth, Dash communicated in nothing but inaudible grunts for she was secretly ashamed of herself. She knew that Applejack would be happy with Caramel, but she couldn't bring herself to face the announcement either way.

Loyal? A loyal friend would want her friends to be happy.

Dash had taken to pony watching more frequently. She didn't want to be near anypony, but gazing down at the bustling streets of Ponyville made her feel less alone somehow. She saw Twilight, with Spike in tow, laughing carelessly as they moved across the town. Rarity and Sweetie Belle were headed towards the shop, more than likely to work on more of the orders Rarity had been overworking herself with. Dash stared down at the streets without seeing. Most everypony was just a blur in her vision; her thoughts were too distracted. She hated herself and how she was acting. She tried to desperately to hate Applejack but she couldn't. She was hurt and angry, but it was just as impossible to stay mad at AJ as it was with Fluttershy.

Patheeettttiiiiccc.

"Yeah, I know." Dash growled back.

"Hey Rainbow!"

Rainbow Dash cursed under her breath. She had forgotten that she was hanging off of a cloud, watching the streets. She had left herself vulnerable to be seen. There was no avoiding it now.

"Yeah?"

Despite a one word response, there was enough venom flowing within the word to take down the biggest of dragons. Applejack recoiled a bit but shook it off rather quickly.

"Hey, do ya think ya got a second to come on down to the farm in a bit?

"Yeah, fine."

Applejack made a face but seemed to decide not to engage with the obviously livid pegasus. Dash pushed herself to her feet and took several deep breaths. She knew that Applejack was going to go on and on about the wonderful ring she got and how her and Caramel are planning the perfect wedding and how she'll make the perfect mare of honor. Dash's face contorted into an evil scowl.

"Alright Applejack. Let's just freaking do this."

Dash growled to herself and pushed off the cloud, taking her time getting to the farm. Her cold appearance was only just that, though. Her stomach was in knots and she felt like she was going to be sick. It was like the Best Young Fliers competition all over again. Dash neared Sweet Apple Acres and heaved an exasperated sigh.

"Seriously? Has to be THERE?"

Dash slowed her pace as she noted Applejack was sitting on their hill. She was incredulous with the nerve Applejack had to break her heart on their special hill. Dash made one last, useless, attempt to calm herself before landing on the hill several feet away from AJ.

"Hey, thanks fer comin'."

"Yeah. What do you need."

Rainbow Dash didn't seem to ask as much as she commanded Applejack to tell her what was going on. Applejack grimaced but tried to smile at her friend. When the smile wasn't returned, she furrowed her brow and looked past Rainbow Dash. Upon seeing those sad emerald eyes, Dash drowned in a wave of guilt. She sighed and lightened her tone, in an attempt to make things less tense.

"It sounded like it was important."

Applejack stole a glance at Rainbow Dash and smirked. Dash felt the corner of her mouth twitch.

"Well, yeah. I have somethin' I wanna talk to ya about. It's about Caramel."

Rainbow Dash's eyes closed as she braced herself of what was to come.

"Few days ago he asked me if ah wanted to go into town with him. We had just got in another fight but ah said sure anyway, 'cause I figured he had somethin' good to say. Ah tell ya, ah never thought ah'd see what ah saw."

"And that was?"

Rainbow Dash was going to be sick, she knew it.

"He gave me this."

Applejack showed Rainbow Dash the ring that Caramel had in his mouth. She studied the gold bank and small white gems surrounding what looked to be a diamond. Applejack remained silent, obviously waiting for some sort of response. Dash couldn't find her words. She wanted to yell and scream. She wanted to tell AJ that Caramel was useless and undeserving. She also knew, however, that she needed to be a friend because this was an important event for AJ. One that she had been waiting forever for. Luckily, Rainbow Dash didn't have to find words at all.

"Sugarcube… y'all feelin' alright? Ya look mighty sick."

"I think I am."

It wasn't a lie. Dash felt the bile rise in her throat. It was all she could do to bite back the tears that were stinging her eyes. Even knowing what was coming didn't take the pain away. Applejack moved closer to Dash and placed a hoof on her forehead. Dash, being too deep in thought to consciously notice, jumped at the touch. Applejack recoiled quickly. The look in her eyes was foreign to Dash. She looked to be full of pain and guilt. Dash secretly wanted her to feel guilty for this.

Some friend, wishing bad things upon her closest friends.

"Sug, go lay down. Y'all're scarin' me."

"Yeah. Sure. I'll talk to you later."

Dash took off out of Sweet Apple Acres faster than she probably should have. All Dash wanted to do was go home and never leave. Her heart was torn to pieces; she didn't know how much more she could take. Still though, staring into those eyes calmed the beast of hate inside of Rainbow Dash's chest ever-so-slightly.

"Oh, um, Rainbow Dash!"

"You have got to be freaking kidding me." Rainbow Dash grumbled to herself.
Dash wheeled around and was quickly face to face with Fluttershy, who looked more nervous than usual.

"Um, if you're not busy… we need to talk."

Dash felt her blood run cold. It was all she could do to nod once and silently follow Fluttershy back to the bridge in front of her cottage. Last time Fluttershy had spoken those four words, Rainbow Dash's world got turned upside down. As a matter of fact, Dash could have sworn that Fluttershy had the same heartbreaking look in her usually innocent eyes. The two landed, still in silence, and Fluttershy turned to face Rainbow Dash. Well, not face her exactly, as her brilliant blue eyes were glued at the patch of land just outside of her hooves. Dash had no idea what was coming, but she knew it wasn't anything good.

"Um, I guess I don't really know how to say this so I'm just going to."

Fluttershy drew a deep breath and spoke, almost expectedly, barely above a whisper.
"I've been seeing Big Macintosh for the last week. We're dating now."

Fluttershy's cheeks burned red as she stole a glance up at Rainbow Dash's face. Dash didn't even have thoughts to comprehend what was going on. She felt like her very heart had literally been torn from her chest and spit on. She wondered what she had done to deserve this.

You don't deserve to be happy. What more proof do you need?

Rainbow Dash hung her head and started to cry. Hard. She couldn't help herself. She completely lost control. Fluttershy's eyes welled with tears as she brought Rainbow Dash into a tight embrace.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Rainbow Dash. I didn't want to tell you before I didn't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry. Oh dear."

Tears spilled out of Fluttershy's eyes and landed on the top of Rainbow Dash's head. These were the tears Dash was expecting when she left AJ's. Even if she had wanted to stop crying, there's no way she could have. Everything was rushing to the surface. She could barely hold one thought before the next took over.

You did it this time… Pathetic… Let them be happy… Terrible friend… Running to Fluttershy… Applejack… You don't deserve better…

Dash had no idea how long she was crying. She didn't bother to pull away from Fluttershy. Despite how much she hurt, being in Fluttershy's arms took some of the edge off. She knew, now, that her dreams of ever being with either Fluttershy or Applejack were ruined, but the warmth of the pony that understood her the most was still comforting.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Dash."

"D-don't be sorry Fluttershy. Y-you deserve to be happy. I-I don't own you or anything. I-I obviously am h-hurt by this b-because… b-because I'm still in l-love with you. But I want you to be h-happy. But I'm scared that you're gonna forget all a-about me."

Dash felt totally exposed. She hadn't realized it herself until the words were out of her mouth, but she was utterly terrified of losing the great friend she had in Fluttershy. The very idea caused her to cry even harded. Fluttershy held her tighter still.

"Oh Dash! You're still so important to me!  Please don't think that I don't want to be your friend or anything like that. I could never forget someone like you Rainbow Dash. I promise that we'll be friends forever."

Dash smiled but her heart wasn't in it. Finally, she pulled out of Fluttershy's grip. She felt thoroughly comforted, albeit defeated.

"Thank you Fluttershy. For everything. I should go now though. Thank you for being honest with me. And patient. And kind."

Fluttershy smiled, her eyes still red from crying.

"Oh Dash, I could never not be those things with you. You're still my best friend."
Dash choked up again and flew home.

Chapter Ten: Confessions
Even though she was always happy and chipper, Pinkie Pie was excellent to vent to. Dash found herself in Pinkie's company more and more as the quickly planned wedding approached.

"How are you feeling today Dashie?"

"I'm alive."

Pinkie face contorted into an uncharacteristic frown.

"Oh Dash. I'm so sorry about all this stuff. You don't deserve this."

Dash merely grunted. She couldn't, and wouldn't, believe that she deserved anything better than being miserable.

"Are you ever going to tell Applejack that you're in love with her?"

"I'm not in love with her," Dash growled. "I like her. A lot. And no, I'm not going to tell her. It's not worth it. She's marrying Caramel. Why muddy the situation? If she wanted me, she'd come and get me. It's pointless."

How in Celestia's name are you still lying to yourself about Applejack?

"But what if it's not?"

Dash was growing irritated. She didn't mean to be angry at Pinkie Pie, she was just frustrated with everything. And with Pinkie's voice a forever sound of happy, Dash couldn't help but snap.

"IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Why would it be worth it? She doesn't love me. She'll never love me. This is a moot conversation and I'm done talking about it. Applejack and Fluttershy are both happier without me, so who am I to try to make them unhappy? As far as I'm concerned, if they don't want me around, then I won't be around. THEY deserve to be happy and if I'm not the pony to do it, then FINE."

As soon as Dash snarled her words out, she felt a strong rush of guilt. Pinkie lowered her head and Dash sighed. She had been letting her anger get the best of her since her conversations with Fluttershy and Applejack. She never meant to, but was far beyond using defenses as an excuse to be a royal jerk.

"Look, I'm sorry Pinkie. I didn't mean to snap. It's not you I'm mad at, it's me. I hate that I'm so upset about it. I hate that I was interested in two ponies and neither of them wanted to be with me. I just hurt. Forgive me?"

Pinkie's face brightened at once and she opened her mouth to speak. However, the voice that Dash heard was not Pinkie's at all.

"Is all that true, Rainbow Dash?"

Dash felt a chill run over her and a lump grow in her throat. Pinkie turned around and smiled.

"Hi Applejack! What are you doing here?"

"Oh ah'm just lookin' for a certain blue pegasus."

"Ohhhh well I haven't seen an- WAIT. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR RAINBOW DASH?!"

Dash had only partially turned around. She felt like someone had put her in a freezer. Her muscles wouldn't obey any of her commands to move. Applejack chuckled.

"You sure are a smart filly, Pinkie Pie. Now could ah talk to ya, Dash?"

"Sure."

Dash's voice was more meek than Fluttershy's was when she was scared. Pinkie sat for a moment before a lightbulb seemed to go off above her head.

"Oh! I have… a cupcake in the oven! Gotta go. See ya Dashie, Applejack!"

Pinkie trotted off quickly. Applejack stood in place for a moment before taking Pinkie's spot. Her green eyes stared intently at Rainbow Dash, who did her best to hide her face. If nerves were a lake, she'd be drowning by now.

"Why didn't you ever tell me any 'o this?"

Applejack's voice was low and patient. Concern outlined every word she spoke. Not once did she look away from Rainbow Dash, who was still doing her best to focus on the ground.
"I just thought it'd be easier if I kept my trap shut and pretended everything was okay."

"C'mon now, Dash, you know ah ain't that easily fooled. Ah could always see there was somethin' in yer eyes. Now tell me what you always needed to tell me."

Dash swallowed hard. It was now or never. Coincidentally, Rainbow Dash was content with the prospect of never.

"For the longest time, I was able to believe that I didn't like you. I convinced myself that you were just a gorgeous pony that I got to hang out with a lot. I was too hung up on Fluttershy to see what was right ahead of me. Coupled with the fact that I didn't know how you truly felt and on top of that, you had a steady boyfriend. I've spent the last however many months being confused about you, and Fluttershy, and even my own feelings.

But the truth is, if I'm being totally honest with myself, you were more than just a distraction from Fluttershy. Somehow, I managed to be in love with two ponies at once. It almost killed me, or at least it tried. The hardest part was knowing that neither of you wanted to be with me. Both of you were so much happier without me making things difficult. I always wanted to ask you if you maybe felt the same way, but I couldn't bear to do it. I didn't want to lose a great friendship by being stupid and hopeful.

I was obviously hurt by Fluttershy. I loved her, still do. But every time I see you walk into a room. Every time I hear the sound of your voice. Every time I look into those eyes, my heart skips a beat. It got to the point where yours was the last face I'd see before I'd fall asleep at night. Yours was the face I'd dream about. And you were the one that I ran to Fluttershy to, begging for any kind of insight or help.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that… well… I love you Applejack. But I hope that doesn't change anything. I still want to be part of your wedding and, more importantly, I still want to be part of your life. You're a great friend, and I'd hate to lose you over something stupid and useless like my feelings."

For once, Dash was not blushing. Her heart was thumping in her ears. It was so loud that she was sure Applejack could hear it. There was a long silence. Dash was sure that she had just ruined everything. She was in the process of forcing her muscles to unlock when a tan hoof touched her chin and brought her face up. Dash relaxed as soon as she saw the compassionate look in her favorite green eyes.

"Sugarcube, ah can't believe you kept all that from me for so long. That musta tore you up inside. Now, before you go scootin' off and hidin', lemme say my piece."

Rainbow Dash braced herself for what was sure to be another heartbreak.

"Lemme start at the beginin'. Now, like ah told ya, Caramel finally gave me a ring. Before ah could finish tellin' ya the whole story, you got sick on me. Ah figure that it had to do with you thinkin' me 'nd Caramel are gettin' hitched?"

Rainbow Dash nodded slowly. She felt like the lowest form of low for treating one of her best friends like that. Applejack refused to let Dash look away, though, as she kept raising her head whenever she tried to stare at the dirt.

"Sugarcube, ah want ya to listen real close to what ah'm about to say. Ah left Caramel that day."

Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow. Applejack's face broke into a smile as confusion washed over Dash.

"Dash, either yer real good at lyin' to yerself or yer the most oblivious pony in Equestria. Ah been eyein' ya since the first day ah looked into yer eyes."

Dash opened her mouth to speak but couldn't sort out any of her thoughts. All she could do was sit and blink at AJ like a fool. Applejack chuckled and moved in closer to Rainbow Dash. Dash felt her heart skip.

I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! I! TOLD! YOU!

"When you got with Fluttershy, ah was hurtin'. Ah told mahself it was just a little crush though, and then Caramel happened. Well, ah watched ya hurt after Fluttershy left ya and ah just wanted to be there for ya all the time. Problem was that ah told mahself that ah loved Caramel. Ah didn't, ah don't, ah never did. It was always you, sugarcube. All those nights we spent under the stars, cuddled? Any one of those nights made me happier than all the days ah spent with Caramel combined. Ah ain't never met someone who makes me feel so many different things at once."

"Are you… is this… seriously?"

Applejack chuckled softly as she moved closer yet to Rainbow Dash.

"Ah can see yer in a mighty state right now, so lemme cut to the chase."

Smile still present on her face, Applejack leaned into Rainbow Dash. Dash felt her entire body light up when Applejack's lips brushed her own. It only lasted a moment, but in that moment everything made sense again. The answer was in front of her all along, but Dash was too busy hating herself and worrying about the future to see it. Dash let herself unravel from her very core in an attempt to keep the peace with her friends. She knew now that it wasn't necessary. Dash knew at this very moment that she had almost given up too soon. Instead of following her gut and, most importantly, her heart, she let herself get consumed in self-hate. Applejack pulled away from Rainbow Dash but was still very close to her in proximity. Finally, Dash smiled a wide, earnest smile.

"Everythin' make sense now, Dashie?"

"More than you know AJ, more than you know."

"So what now?"

Rainbow Dash smiled at Applejack. The happiness, the love in the air, it was all so liberating.

"Now? We live. Now, we let ourselves be happy."

With that, the two shared another brief kiss and promptly headed off towards Sugarcube Corner. An occasion like this definitely warranted the biggest party this side of the summer sun celebration.

-Now-, you deserve to be happy.